‘Ocean’s Eight’ Struggles to Bear the Weight of Its Name

I have a problem with a new fad in movies, and I’m still struggling with understanding why I have a problem with it.

There’s a new trend of taking a classic movie and redoing it with an all-female cast, namely something like Ocean’s Eight.

Let me preface this by saying that I’m all for female-driven casts. Some of my favorite movies have been female-led: Blue is the Warmest Colour, Black Swan, and Mulholland Drive, to name a few, so that isn’t the issue.

I think my biggest problem is that it feels to me like a cash grab, utilizing people’s love for particular franchises to exploit a movement. And it puts unfair expectations on something to keep a consistent tone, to pay the proper amount of homage, to be something that has already been.

If Ocean’s Eleven didn’t exist, perhaps I would’ve viewed it in a better light.

You could argue that it’s an unfair way to judge the film, but they did their best to remind me this was in the Ocean’s universe at every stop, throwing in characters from the earlier trilogy, showing Danny Ocean’s memorial/watch multiple times, James Corden’s character bringing up the family lineage of Debbie Ocean, etc… They even used the same scenes from the 2001 version, like the way the team was assembled and the moment Lou confronted Debbie about the job being personal. It was worse than being by-the-numbers; it was a rip-off remake posing as something original.

Even the big reveal at the end, which all Ocean’s movies have, was both incredibly predictable and hastily done. Of course Daphne was in on it the whole time. The name is Ocean’s Eight, and to that point, there were only seven members.

Things felt shoehorned in because it was a female-driven movie, like the cringe-worthy Tinder scene. You don’t need that to reach today’s female audience. It seemed insulting because it wouldn’t have been in a male version of the movie. And the music was atrocious. “These Boots Were Made for Walking” was the featured song, for God’s sake. Can you get any more cliché than that?

Sandra Bullock was so low energy that it made me wonder if she even wanted to do this role in the first place. She had none of the charisma that made Danny Ocean such an endearing anti-hero. I love Cate Blanchett, and the opportunity was there for her to be this incredible character, but it’s like they were content with her introduction and left her development at that. They wanted her to be Rusty Ryan, but they didn’t allow her the space to do so. The banter and chemistry, which are so important in the earlier films in the series, just aren’t up to par.

I’ve sort of shit on a lot of aspects of the movie, but it wasn’t like it was a trash fire or anything. The actual heist is a bit of fun, though you never feel as if it is in any real doubt. The “magnetic clasp” wrinkle was solved basically instantly, which took the wind out of the sails a bit. But there was fun to be had with some of the nuances of the plan (like the food poisoning and the Yen involvement). There were small moments that would have made Danny Ocean proud.

Sarah Paulson and Anne Hathaway are actually pretty delightful. Awkwafina is a much-needed ball of energy, and when they allowed her to take control of a scene, she did so. Rihanna could’ve been much more, but she was relegated to clacking away at a laptop for the majority of the movie.

Despite wanting this movie (or maybe I didn’t?) to have the same energy, laughs, and twists as its 2001 predecessor, it just couldn’t live up to that lofty level. It honestly couldn’t live up to the level of the 2004 sequel. And if I’m being honest, it wasn’t even at the level of the third installment, which is a shame considering the amount of talent on the set.

Ocean’s Eight is a 1.5/5 for me, and unless you have Movie Pass, I would wait for this one to come out on Redbox/Netflix.