The Vandy Whistlers are Absurdity Personified

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In a conference where people go through extreme lengths to support their teams, where rivalries become grotesque and go too far, two assholes stand out amongst the pack for their sheer determination to piss the world off.

Those people? Jeff Pack and Preacher Franklin, The Vandy Whistlers.

The name is laugh-out-loud funny because of just how absurd it is. They whistle nonstop throughout Vanderbilt baseball games, and they do it every game for the whole game.

It sounds harmless enough, but the perpetuity of it can’t be understated.

They aren’t just there for show. Oh, no. They’re forces of nature, titans of the whistling game, masters of their domain. It never ends. They actually hit their peaks in the playoffs. It’s so bad that it can be heard clearly on TV:

They do have an end game, though they would argue on what that is.

In an interview with The Tennesseean, Preacher argued that it was all for the team.

“Jeff doesnā€™t want the attention, and I understand that. But I am proud of what Iā€™m doing because I think Iā€™m helping our team.”

Yeah, nobody believes that, Preach.

They both seem like lying assholes. They’ve claimed that ESPN security has threatened to kick them out of games because they were being picked up by microphones, a claim ESPN has denied. Jeff has claimed that he was assaulted by a Mississippi Sate fan, but as far as I can tell, there have been no charges pressed or any evidence to prove that it actually occurred.

Maybe that’s my own dislike of them speaking, and that’s entirely possible. But anyone who can do something to irritate everyone around them day in and day out with no remorse, sympathy, or understanding is simply a bad person.

Their goals seem clear to me. They want to be SEC legends, folklore, unofficial mascots of sorts, akin to Auburn’s eagle or UGA the bulldog.

In a way, they’ve succeeded.

They’re the most hated aspect about any team in all of the SEC to media and fans alike.

https://twitter.com/38Godfrey/status/1006171326996975618

https://twitter.com/a_shiff_/status/1006012142011678720

https://twitter.com/TannerLubach/status/1006029281720455170

https://twitter.com/AlexMcDaniel/status/1005679310924124160

Vanderbilt’s baseball season ending has become a holiday to those who follow the sport. It gives them a chance to watch a game in peace without a piercing ringing running through their heads. And it’s the one way we can all celebrate the Vandy Whistlers, the assholes that they are, getting what’s coming to them.