The Definitive Hurricane Party Playlist

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Listen, as an east coast-er and someone who is currently eyeing the path of Hurricane Florence with more than a hint of trepidation, I understand that the next few days may be unpleasant, to say the least.  There are legitimate safety concerts, mandatory evacuations are taking place, grocery stores have been practically ransacked and we’ve not even seen the first drop of rain.

While the impending record rainfall and 100+ mph winds slowly trod toward the mid-Atlantic, we as humans need to band together in the face of nature’s wrath as we’ve done for centuries.  Seeking refuge and taking stock of one’s sundries is paramount but, once the preparations have been made, there’s but one thing left to do: have fun.

Yeah, seriously.  Shelter-down with a few of your best and closest and make the best of it.  Drinks, foods and music.  And a dog.  A community therapy animal is 100% necessary.  Speaking of music, you might be wondering what an appropriate playlist for a hurricane might sound like.  I’m here to help you out, friend.

  • The Rolling Stones – Gimme Shelter: You’ve all arrived, safely.  You’ve boarded the windows and provisions are in good order.  Alcohol, more alcohol, contingency alcohol, food, a generator, a tv and maybe a reliable internet connection to stream something.  Anyway, you’re all set.  There is comfort in unity and with a storm of this magnitude, it’s the most necessary ingredient in making it through to the other side of this tempest.  The first beer cracks.  The rain and the storm surge are heating up.  It has begun and you know this because Mick Jagger is telling you so.  Just like the best Scorcese movie,
  • Joe Cocker – With a Little Help from My Friends: I referenced unity in the face of peril earlier and this really sums it up.  This song just conjures up memories of better times, sunnier times.  Your family at Thanksgiving, fraternity brothers on game day, lake trips during the summer.  The thing is, as the torrent rages outside, you’re not alone and that’s probably the most important thing of all.  A strong man is NOT strongest alone.  Also, bonus points for The Wonder Years.
  • Led Zeppelin – Fool in the Rain: Yes, yes, YEEEESSS.  The classics.  Right about now frozen pizzas are being divvied up and you and your folks are about four fireball shots and two shotguns deep so those deep piano tones are smacking you right in the feels.  Also, how aptly named is this song?  It’s about you.  Yes, YOU.  As the rain meter keeps on ticking so do you, you fool.  This song has, for as long as I can remember (much like the majority of Zeppelin’s catalogue), inspired a profound uptick in good feelings amongst a given group of people.  And if Jen or Tori or whomever hasn’t started dancing on an elevated surface yet, they will soon because the next song is:
  • Toto – Africa: Ok, tables are now being danced on.  The storm raging outside your hurricane fortress has nothing on the tidal wave of emotion that is cresting indoors.  Jen might fall off the counter and come away with a few bruises but she literally just reached up through the storm clouds, across the Atlantic and grazed the top of Kilimanjaro, so cut Jen some damn slack.  You don’t need me to tell you what happens when the hook of Africa hits.  It’s tour de force.  It alters time itself and bathes the universe in Technicolor glory.  Florence won’t know what hit it when 15-odd people in a boarded up home all belt out the now-famous words without any regard for pitch or key.  God bless us all and get Jen an ice pack, please.
  • The Scorpions – Rock You Like a Hurricane: Actually, get another ice pack on the ready because Sean, Mike and Garth are about to fist pump a well hole through the dry wall.  This is basically a free ticket to turning off your brain and engaging in full gorilla-stomping because The Scorpions only have one setting and that’s DESTROY.  the 80’s never ended, just bled precipitously into every decade thereafter and this is an arena rock ballad custom-built to withstand terrible weather.  Somewhere in the country college football is actually being played and it’s on the tv, muted.  Who’s playing? Ole Miss and Alabama? Land Shark defense vs. Roll Tide?  How perfect.

  • Israel Kamakawiwoʻole – Somewhere Over the Rainbow: Ok, take a breather.  Maybe have a power nap, grab some more pizza or a slice of the giant hoagie that’s been munched on, foot by foot.  Time to reflect, maybe even dissect Ole Miss’ performance thus far against Tua Tagovailoa (also Hawaiian) and the Alabama offense.  This song rocks ever so softly.  It’s a great way to mix things up and also clean up a little bit since you animals have let the living room, kitchen and every other livable inch resemble your campsite from Firefly fest a few years ago.  Feeling refreshed? Good.  Because half-time is over.

  • Metallica – Ride the Lighting: It’s not Enter Sandman but it’s still vintage Metallica and in case you forgot, there’s a hurricane outside.

  • Metallica – Enter Sandman: Because you can’t not.  Plus the law of averages says at least 1/3 of you are Virginia Tech grads.
  • John Denver – Take Me Home, Country Roads: West Virginia and NC State’s game was cancelled, which is an atrocity and any Mountaineers in the room just aren’t having it.
  • Old Crow Medicine Show – Wagon Wheel: For every party. ever.
  • Rupert Holmes – Escape (The Pina Colada Song): A song that needs no introduction and no additional context.

  • CCR – Have You Ever Seen The Rain? More Classics.  More sing-a-longs.  John Fogerty is here for you, kids.  Creedence is from down south and they know about bad storms and they’ve made it through their fair share.  Everything will be OK.

  • Prince – Purple Rain: Because you have to have one really long song in the mix and it’s Prince.  People are going to hug.  Someone might even try to disbar one of the doors and step out into the actual rain.  Don’t let them do that.

  • The Weather Girls – It’s Raining Men: HAAH.

  • AC/DC – Rolling Thunder: Part 1 of “obviously”

  • AC/DC – Thunderstruck: Part 2 of “obviously”

  • Ja Rule & Mary J. Blige – Rainy Days: Straight out of left field and, man, did you forget about this song.  Someone’s getting misty-eyed in the corner and you think you’re next.

  • Rain – Armin Van Buuren: The token EDM/Trance aficionado has had enough and has taken control of the party.  All the college football games have ended and everyone has entered the grey area where both cabin fever has given way to flip cup gauntlet.  Is that a hookah?  Not great!

  • Led Zeppelin – When the Levee Breaks: An hour and a half of Van Buuren, Pretty Lights and DJ Marshmallow have just concluded.  Time to come back to earth.  Thank you Robert Plant et al.

  • Guns n’ Roses – Appetite for Destruction: Yes, the entire album.  Lord. Of. The. Flies.

  • The Eagles – Hotel California: “You can never leave”

  • Van Morrisson – Sail into the Mystic: God, this song is beautiful

  • Bob Dylan – The Man In Me: It’s damn near 5 A.M. and storm clouds are, in fact, raging right outside your door.  Time to watch Lebowski and engage in a quote war until the last man succumbs to glorious sleep.

  • The Beatles – Here Comes the Sun: It’s a new day, just barely.  But the plot twist is- there is no sun.  Nope you’ve got at least another day to go.  Attempt at cleaning up, take inventory of your provisions, make breakfast/bloody Mary’s.  Rinse/repeat.